Sometimes it’s oddly unsettling to realize that the dreams I have for myself are so much smaller than what God has laid out before me. The ideas of simple domesticity, a quietly blessed life, hard work and happy family—these are my dream of a fulfilling life.

Lately, I’ve begun to feel a bit like Moses arguing with God in front of the burning bush. Is it possible that He has called me to something so much larger than myself that it requires me to give up every personal dream I once had—every shred of self-sufficiency as the pilot of my destiny—and lay down my plans and my will for my life to the service of His greater plan?

A week ago, I had a dream of building a little house out in the country with a sunny window where I could sit and engage in the single-minded passion in my life—writing. Today, it seems as though the red carpets of a different opportunity are being spread in front of me, all unmistakably tattooed with the seal of God’s providence on them.

Now I am overwhelmed with the idea of venture capitalists, planning and executing multi-million dollar building facilities, marketing plans and a lifestyle completely unwanted and alien to me. I am not a public speaker. I do better with animals than people. I actually like peace, quiet, and solitude. I am not a hyper-caffeinated mover and shaker who can make snap decisions involving other people’s money. I am a deeply pensive, deliberate person who must come into a realization of the right thing to do through meditation and prayer.

But then I realize that God does not always call you to something you are already good at—otherwise, how would people see the manifestation of Him working through you?

It seems opportunity is knocking at the door—now. God’s sovereignty is chiming with the delicious resonance of a chorus of bells from all different parts of the world, coming together in an orchestrated harmony that can only be the work of a higher power.

The time has come to choose to follow His lead, or turn back to the comfortable ways of the known. Oswald Chambers is right: the battle is won in the secret places of the heart, where no man can intervene. Push a man to an issue of the will, and that is where true abandonment begins. When we have already laid our will on His altar, and wrestled with God in our secret place, the choice in the real world seems less monumental, because the battle has already been won.

If I have already decided that nothing of mine is off-limits to the Lord’s refining fire, I should gladly relinquish that which is most precious to me, in the confidence that in the sovereignty of His mercy, the thing I love so dearly will return to me, at the appointed time.

God sometimes requires us to leave behind our dreams of mediocrity in order to train us on the eagle’s path of greatness. The process, though, is not without pain, regret, or grief.

Pray for me, friends, as I contemplate shedding more layers of self-sufficiency and beginning a terrifying leap of faith into flight. The power of God’s amazing love is that He still leaves me free to choose.